No school...

Got some more sad news today. Another baby has died. This time it was a four month old little girl. Her mama passed away a little over a month ago from full blown AIDS and the baby died from AIDS complications and respiratory illness. Another brand new little person is gone. I just have to keep reminding myself that she is in heaven now. I’m almost a little bit thankful that she left so young. At least now she doesn’t have to deal with the pain that living with AIDS in Africa causes.

The governor is in town today and work has been cancelled. Only two more days after this until we leave for Pemba! Wow! THE OCEAN! I am hoping I can find the last of my little gifts for people back home when I get there. I have a couple more things that I need to pick up. I’m going to sit and watch a movie with B and try to spend the rest of my day out at the village with the kiddos. Since there is no work today, we don’t have school, but I want to spend as much time with my little friends as I can before I leave.

The Countdown Begins

Holy moly. My last Sunday in Balama. I am amazed at how quickly the month went by. I am beyond ready to get home. I mostly can’t wait to get back and tie up all of the loose ends. There is a lot in my life right now that is up in the air. School, a job, and my home. I need to get back and get my life into some sort of order.

We got news today that a baby has died. She was one month old. I’m not entirely sure what happened, but apparently she had been sick for a week and her little body couldn’t take it anymore. What is even harder for me is that my little girls’ twin brother has severe malaria. His mom brought him to us this afternoon. He was whimpering and totally lethargic. B gave him medication and we prayed for him and sent them home. I can only pray that we wake up tomorrow to a baby and not needs for a funeral. Scary stuff.

Church was amazing today! Not only did everyone dance and sing as usual, but they had a little ceremony for me! Different people came up to praise the Lord for my good heart and hard work. It was really lovely. Everyone came up for hugs and kisses and we all laughed and cried! It is so nice to be a part of such a transparent group of people! Everyone back home teases me for being too easily excited or quick to cry, but here everyone is like me! YIPPEE! I fit in somewhere!

Three people asked to have the Lord in their lives today. They stood up in church on their own and walked to the front and stated their testimonies. One was really intense. He had been raised Muslim and had been practicing his entire life. 23 years ago, he acquired rheumatoid arthritis and was unable to work. Less than one week ago, he had a dream that told him to go to the nearest church. He found out where Fred lived and requested to go to church with him on Sunday. Following his conversation with Fred, he awoke the next day with no pain! He had been healed! I know it sounds incredulous, but I talked to him myself. He came to the front of the church and told everyone in the room about how amazing he felt and how he knows it’s because he has Jesus in his life! WOW! I myself have never truly understood or believed in His healing power, but this is as much proof as any.

I’ve been very emotional all day today and I’m not really sure why. I have a ton of mixed feelings right now. I miss everyone terribly, but I don’t want to leave. I need to get home to start putting my life together, but none of that really matters if I’m not where I’m supposed to be. I am just feeling very unsettled. Time to pray.

Batik!

Went to the market today and bought 4 kaplanas (swatches of fabric that are 4 meters long and used to make clothing). They are BATIK! Real batik, with wax still on them! They have zebras and giraffes on them! My two favorite African animals! Yay! Looks like mom will be making a quilt with African fabric when I get home. She is too good to me. :)

Ale made me a bush pizza for dinner tonight. It was easily the best pizza I have ever had. It was my farewell treat. We even had cold yogurt for dessert along with our usual papaya and banana! Tasty!

Got really bad heat exhaustion today. I need to remember not to pile all of my hair on top of my head because as soon as I took it down and put it into braids I felt worlds better.

Time Flies When You're Having Fun

6 days til Pemba. 8 days til Jo’burg. 19 days til Paris. 24 days til Vegas.

Wow. Time flies when you are enjoying yourself beyond all reason! Woke up at 5am to head to Mavala for distribution today. I feel so blessed to have been at two Mavala distributions in my time here. It is an amazing process to be a part of. I rode out with the workers. I had a blast! They all love me and we just took a bunch of silly photos and laughed! I even tried to put a 70kg bag of beans on my head! Augusto thought I was going to die! It was way too heavy for me to hold on my own!

There were quite a few more people at distribution today than there was last time. Some came by foot from five hours away. It is truly humbling when I think about how close I live to food and healthcare. I could crawl on my hands and knees to Market Center over 500 times in the hours it takes for some of these families to walk to Mavala. Pastor Pintos’ house is almost complete and then he can start to preach at the Mavala church. The village can hardly wait. Any chance they get to hear the word of God and their voices go silent. It’s powerful.

I met a baby today and fell in love. Surprised? He was there with his parents and his paternal grandmother. His mom was one of OU’s original orphans. She and her three siblings were orphaned several years ago when their parents were murdered in Maputo. They were brought back to Balama to live with OU until an aunt stepped forward to help. Now she lives with her husband, two children and her siblings. Typical story, luckily a fairly happy one.

Went to Pastor Fred’s wedding today! Africans really know how to party! The pastor who married them rode in on a dirt bike and led their truck around town. The bed of the truck was filled with teenagers singing at the tops of their lungs! It was great! The ceremony wasn’t much different than one from back home. The only real difference was the fact that Fred and his wife were not smiling. Apparently, they have to appear solemn to display that they are entering into marriage seriously. It was SO HOT. No AC and over 90 degrees in a room of 75 people. The room was no bigger than a 10x10ft storage room! It was hot and smelly! When we finally left the court, we followed the wedding truck by foot. There was a group of woman that S and I joined in singing and dancing down the street. Quite the scene!

Last baby day

My best friend Joshua’s grandma passed away. My poor Joshua Giraffe. Naz was an amazing woman, one of the wittiest, stubborn and most charismatic people I’ve ever met. My heart is hurting for Joshua and his family, but I am thankful that Naz is no longer in any type of pain or under any stress. I’m sure that her heaven is full of birds, live ones that look like the glass ones that covered her shelves and tables!

Baby day was the BEST! It got to give a billion kisses and took some AWESOME photos! I can’t believe that this is really my last one until next fall! I’ll miss them all so much. I just pray that they will all be happy and healthy toddlers when I get back. Aminat sat on my lap and napped for a little while this morning. It’s moments like those that make me all the more confidant that I am to be a mother one day. My heart was at total peace holding her little body and rocking her back and forth. I even taught her a song! ‘Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes!’ It was pretty amazing.

I got notice today that my younger sister wants to come spend some time with me once she graduates in December. This is GREAT news! I left home when she was still so young, so I haven’t gotten to spend much quality time with her in the past 5 years. Now we have that opportunity! She is so smart and funny. And so responsible. I’m incredibly proud of her. Babysitter for hire!

It’s mid afternoon and well over 90 degrees. Luckily I got to go to the pond today and put my toes in the water. Simple pleasures.

The Cure for Anything

One week from tomorrow and I will be on the ocean. What is it about the water that affects me so deeply? It’s like I can just think about putting my toes in the salt water or bobbing along in a boat and my heart swells as though I am reminiscing about the first time I fell in love! A wise woman once told me to never love anything that couldn’t love you back. I think we were talking about my coffee table, right L? :) Anyway, I honestly believe that the ocean loves me back! The way it embraces each and every part of me and how it supplies my family with sustenance… That has to be love! I know that He created the heavens and earth and land and water, but I think He had me in mind with the ocean. Or maybe He had the ocean in mind when He created me. He wanted me to be someone who could really appreciate all that He gave us with the water. Well I’m here and I’m appreciating!

We got an emergency call to the bush, or further into it that we already are anyway, to pick up a pregnant woman who was having complications due to malaria. We drove back to get her and she was literally in the bushes. With only one week until her due date, she was feverish, vomiting and everything else that goes along with those nasty amoebas. I had serious empathy for her. I know how awful I felt last week and I can hardly imagine the fear that would go along with being pregnant as well. We prayed for her and dropped her off at the clinic. We will know in a few days how things turn out.

We drove from the clinic to a very remote village that is interested in getting a church. Within fifteen minutes, B had bought the land! Looks like we have some fundraising to do, friends! The team will need as many donations as possible to cover the cost of construction and the $75 a month to house and feed the pastor and his family. It’s very exciting!

Today at lunch was another episode of Westside Story: War at the Watering Hole! I know I haven’t mentioned it before, but every afternoon around 1pm there is an epic battle between the mongooses and the crows. The crows are like mafia hit men! They aren’t like our crows back home. They have on little tuxedos. They’re smaller than our crows too, but just as obnoxious! They don’t let ANYONE get to the water! Not even the smaller birds. The mongooses, though totally outnumbered, put up quite a fight. It’s good ol’ bush entertainment!

Tomorrow is the best day of the week! Baby day! And it’s my last one here until next year.

The Ocean!

I can’t for the life of me remember what I dreamed about last night, but it must have been great! I haven’t awoken with such peace in my heart since my arrival to Balama. I was literally giggling! Maybe I’m just going crazy. :)

In a little over a week, B and I will be departing for Pemba. I am so excited to see the ocean! The Indian Ocean! B said that it is really inexpensive to rent snorkel gear, so you’d better believe that I will be in that water and ready to explore! I wish I had one of those Baywatch propeller thingys to use. Haha. I can just see the look on everyone’s faces. ‘Silly American girl.’ THE OCEAN!

‘If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water.’ Loren Eisley

I totally agree with this sentiment. Nothing calms my nerves or heals my heart as much as being in or on the ocean. I feel so blessed that following such an incredible month here in Balama, I get to spend TWO DAYS on the water. It’s like a reward for working hard!

The next nine days will undoubtedly fly by. I am looking forward to whatever adventures they are sure to bring.

Kathryn VS Malaria part 2

I’m feeling better today than I was yesterday! Hallelujah! I’m still very lethargic, but I can move a bit faster and I have kept down oatmeal, rice cereal, and papaya with banana. ‘Man cannot live on bread alone.’ I think that woman can live off of papaya and banana! :)

Everyone knows me well enough to know that I am a total wimp when I get sick. I power through all of the aches and pains, but I am a big baby deep down and all I want is my mama. I woke up yesterday morning and just cried. It’s the first time I’ve felt so horribly homesick and all I could do was pray that someone, anyone, would email me to tell me they loved me. I needed it so badly and the Internet had been down for a day so I was even more lonely than I should have been! Arg!

But low and behold, my prayers were answered in the form of a phone call from Sitka. PASTOR AND CAROLYN! They called at 7am and it was exactly what I needed to lift my spirits. It’s nuts that we are literally a half a world away from each other and the phone call was so clear! Modern technology at it’s finest! I was so glad to hear that my blog is being well received by the people who are reading it! I’m so happy to know that my babbling is entertaining! I promise to put more meat into each of the entries when I get home. It’s hard to write a really in depth entry when I’m working on B’s computer and we’re running off of a solar powered battery! Thank you everyone for following me on my travels. I can’t wait for the chance to post photos so everybody can see the fantasticness (not a word, I know, but it fit!) that I write about when mentioning the children. And the very raw reality that is the village of Balama and her people. I am confident that it will move everyone deeply. I am hoping that everyone is moved deeply enough to want to help! :)

I’m going to assist at school this morning. It’s the first time since Friday that I’ve been able to really function semi-normally. I’m praying that by tomorrow, I’ll feel good as new! Again, thank you for your prayers and well wishes! And thank you Pastor and Carolyn for the phone call. It really was an answer to my prayers.

My love goes to everyone back in Alaska, Utah, Arizona, California, Washington, North Carolina, Florida, Johannesburg and everywhere else that my friends and family live. Your constant support is definitely a source of strength for me, felt all the way across the world.

Kathryn VS Malaria

I could not sleep for the life of me last night. I knew I was sick when I couldn’t find the strength to hold my book open long enough to read a page.

By the time breakfast rolled around, I was totally unable to function. I had consumed one bite of pancake before rushing to the restroom to throw up. B immediately started me on the treatment for malaria. (Note: For the sanity of my dear mother, I agreed to take the preventatives, but as we can now see, they don’t always do their job.) I slowly made my way to my bed, where I stayed laying down for a full 24 hours. I could do nothing but sip on sugar water and pray. The body aches were worse than I can even explain. I’ve been sick before, really sick. But this was almost unmanageable. By the time my second dose of meds kicked in, around 6pm, I could not even move. I was spiking a fever and getting shakes. To make even the slightest noise or movement caused pain to shoot from the top of my head to my tailbone.

B was such a great nurse. She brought her phone to me so I could call her if I couldn’t find the strength to yell next door. She got me all set up with a bucket and water and crackers (by this point it had been about 36 hours since I’d consumed anything but sugar water.) I drifted in and out of sleep, awaking four times with sweat dripping from my body. The fevers have to be the hardest part of malaria as there is nothing you can do but wait them out.

B came over at 3:30am to check on me. She had been having nightmares that I wasn’t going to be alright and that she would have to medivac me out of Mozambique. Luckily, by the time she got to my room, I was feeling much better. B said that I was the worse case that she has ever seen with the exception of a 20 year old man who waited too long to alert her that he wasn’t feeling well. It is surprising how okay I feel right now. I’m sore and I have another fever, but I was able to get out of bed and get to the office with little assistance.

I’m looking forward to being able to eat. I had a bit of lunch today, but my appetite is really nowhere to be found. I was looking forward to dropping some unsightly pounds while here in Africa, but malaria was not the way I wanted to do it!

Thank you to everyone who has been praying for me. I am confident that I would not be feeling this well if it weren’t for your unwavering faith and support. I will update on this as needed, but hopefully this is the last you will have to hear about me and my new found amoebas!

And Mama..
I’m sorry I didn’t alert you sooner. I didn’t want you to worry. I’m going to be just fine! This is the life of a missionary! Constantly meeting opposition that will lead us on a path away from our goals. I’m still completely convinced that this is where I am supposed to be. My heart is so happy it could burst!

Sad day to be a snake

I can’t believe that it has been eight years since the attacks on the World Trade Centers, the Pentagon and the plane in Pennsylvania. It’s strange to be in a place where people don’t have any idea about 9/11. That day turned America’s world upside down while the folks in Balama were spraying beans with pesticides.

I spent the morning with A and the men up at the mill. They ran a bunch of beans through the shaft and sprayed them with bug juice to prepare them for distribution in Mavala next week. It was quite the process. And the men are worst camera hams than all of the children combined! They all wanted their photos taken next to the mill and on the bags of beans and with the bags on their heads. It was hilarious! Today was filled with first’s for me; first time with the workers at the mill, first time carrying something on my head (I was horrible and got laughed at!) and… FIRST SNAKE!! We were in the dining room preparing for lunch when everyone began yelling, ‘COBRA, COBRA!’ (snake in Portuguese) B called me outside to see what was happening. A three foot mamba had made its way into the dog pen with the puppies! We could see it’s trail in the sand, like someone had written a message to us in cursive. And there it was, in the corner of the pen, just waiting to do its thing! Thankfully, A and S spotted it before the puppies did and with one swift ‘THWACK!’ it was dead. Sad day to be a snake.

We’re spending the rest of the afternoon making little ‘houses’ for the tomato plants. The grasshoppers and birds have been devouring them and it’s up to us to offer some protection! Off we go to save the day! B seriously needs a super hero outfit. The things this woman deals with! And she is almost all better after her bout with malaria.

Baby Day!

If Wednesday is Carrot Cake Day, then Thursday is officially BABY DAY! I LOVE BABY DAY! It’s only the best day of the week. All of the babies from the village are brought in to be weighed and loved on by ME! Yippee!

It turns out my baby mama (mother of the twins and the little boy) has been living in a dilapidated house. We went to see it, decided that it was unlivable, and brought her and all of her things to a new home. Just so happens that this new home is right outside of our gate! I guess it was our way of compromising with her. We will be able to check on them daily and personally see to it that her baby girl is getting all of the love and nutrients that she needs. I got to hold the little love muffin for the entire move! She just coo’ed and played with my keys and my hair. I love her. You all knew that helping me get down here to a bunch of babies was a potentially disastrous idea! Don’t worry though, I looked into it and it’s illegal for me to bring one back as a carry on. :)

Weigh ins were an absolute success. Everyone looked happy and healthy. I got to play with and take photos of everything going on, from the babies to the food distribution. I took about seven photos that I know are keepers. I ABSOLUTELY love one of them. We have one widow that is just hilarious. She is always playing practical jokes and poking fun at her friends. I took a close up shot of her making this great face. I could just hear my mom’s voice in the background as I took it.

I gave out lots of kisses and hugs today. I love that the kids all know me now and that they are so excited every time they see me! I can’t wait to return next year and see how much they have grown and learned.

Happy Birthday to my Trinity Anastasia!! My ‘sister’ Camille’s daughter is four years old today! Wow. I got an email from Michella, my best friend back home, and it made my whole day! I am so lucky to have such amazing women in my life.

I am starting to contemplate what is going to happen when I get back to Sitka. I need a job. I am praying for a job that pays at least $800 every check after taxes. I can’t work six days a week while I’m going through school, so a M-F schedule would be wonderful. Ask and you shall receive, right? I figured I might as well ask, very specifically, and hope for the best!

I’m also looking into what fundraising options I have. I have taken some fantastic photos and I think that I could sell them. Perhaps an auction or at a bazaar or something. I need to research tickets for my trip next fall and book them before they cost me another arm and a leg! The tickets this year were crazy and maybe if I can earn enough before JUNE (when I got the tickets this time) I will be able to get a better deal. Goodness, so much is happening in my brain! Things will be busy for the next few years, but I am officially dedicated to helping keep Orphans Unlimited the best program that it can be! I made a promise to Brenda and everyone else out here that I will do whatever I can to raise awareness and be of as much of assistance as possible.

This was put in my heart for a reason and I am not about to turn and walk away.

Portuguese?

I wrote letters to six people last night, yet another attempt at making things right with everyone and letting go of the past. I’m feeling pretty good about it. B and I had a long talk about the importance of forgiveness, both offering it and receiving it. I needed to get a bunch of hurt out of my system so that I can open up more in my relationships with God, my friends and my family. I’m praying that this is precisely what I needed to jumpstart the healing process! I got a couple of nice emails from home. I love hearing from everyone. The hardest part of this trip has definitely been not being able to talk to my family and friends. Other than that, I have so genuinely enjoyed my time here! I’m excited about next year! This trip has been excellent preparation for a longer one next fall. Now I know exactly what to bring and how much. I also know that I need to get myself a Portuguese tutor! If anyone knows of someone in Sitka, help a girl out! It is extremely difficult to give medical attention to a seven year old that doesn’t speak English. It’s harder when her two care takers don’t either!

Fatima ripped a toenail off today and was bleeding everywhere. Trying to help her was close to impossible. I just said a quick prayer that she could understand that I was there to help and went to work! She had to be restrained while we got her cleaned off and taped up. Poor girl. She was so afraid! Thankfully, we were able to take care of things swiftly and she spent the rest of school glued to my side. Thank you, Lord!

I found out today that one of our young widows killed her newborn baby. She has been removed from our program. A brand new person was killed because this woman didn’t have the guts to admit that she had had sex out of wedlock. I understand a person’s nervousness at admitting wrongdoings, I struggle with it all of the time, but there is NEVER an excuse to do what she did. My whole heart hurts. Things like this make me want my mom.

I slept great last night with the help of a good book and some melatonin! I know a certain someone with sleeping problems that will be getting a bottle of it as a gift when I get home! I have been thinking a lot about my dad lately. I obviously miss all of my family more than words could ever convey, but my dad and I have always had a very ‘special’ relationship and it’s been on my mind. I think I’m going to take some time to write him a letter. I’d love for him and Sister to come visit this fall, once I get into my new home. I would love for mom to come too, but since she’s visited twice already, I think that the two of them should come on their own and leave the ‘kids’ with her. The dogs need someone at home to love on them and take them on walks and feed them and pick up… Love you mom!

I’m covered in bug bites! I put on my bug dope everyday, but they still seem to get me. They aren’t mosquito bites and I’m still up and moving around, so I suppose I’m fine! Thank God! I can’t imagine what my mom would do if I got malaria while I was here! She’d definitely not be happy about my return next year! B actually started the treatment for malaria today. She doesn’t have a horrible case of it this time, she is still able to walk and oversee the workers, but she is definitely sick. I’m praying that the treatment works swiftly and that she is back to good health soon!

I’m officially homesick today. Maybe not homesick as much as I want to talk to everyone! I miss voices! I am lucky to have a couple of funny videos on my laptop of Marjorie and I doing hulahoop on the Wii. They keep me from missing everyone too much! Thanks Majie!

Summer Skin

A friend from years past consumed my dreams last night. Apparently the next chapter in my emotional baggage purge. I’ve been listening to a lot of music lately and one of the best groups ever, Death Cab for Cutie, has been consistently playing as I fall asleep at night. One of my favorite songs is Summer Skin. It brings to mind all of the loves of my life and how so many of them were fleeting. Not just boys that I’ve had feelings for, but also my friends and interests. As I reflect on everything and everyone, I’m realizing that I want stability and longevity. The few friends that I have had since I was little and the ones that I’ve met more recently are wonderful. I don’t want to imagine my life without any of them and, as of my recent trip to Utah, I no longer have to! Yay for second chances! I’ve been blessed with amazing people and adventures, but only a few of them have really proven to withstand the tests of time. This has made it increasingly difficult for me to really try with anyone or anything. I’ve put a lot of effort into things and watched people and opportunities simply pick up and leave. I’m taking the time to realize that these things happened for some reason far greater than I will probably ever know and that throughout all of the come-aparts, something great always remained. This summer has been a great indication example of this. I’ve met so many new people over the past four months and made some of the biggest decisions of my life, my baptism being the biggest! And I don’t know if I would have felt so strongly about making that decision if I hadn’t had the group of people around me that I did. I don’t know where time will take me and the relationships that I have made as of late, but I do know that I am thankful for them and I am ready to take steps in my life to make things more permanent; a stable home, college, and church. I’m excited.

Phew! That was quite the purge of emotion. I’m good now. OH! I saw the Milky Way tonight for the first time in my life! It lit up the entire sky! We are so blessed. I simply walked outside at six o’clock at night to a moonless sky and saw one of the most phenomenal sights ever. How could anyone not believe that there is something more for us? With all of this beauty for us to appreciate, why not give Him credit?

Throw the toys & run

I didn’t sleep well last night. I keep playing the past four and a half years of my life over and over in my head. Things that I could have done differently to avoid getting hurt or hurting others, where I would be now if I hadn’t done this or that, and all of the people that I have loved and lost. I think it is just God’s way of getting me to think things through to the point of letting it all go. I’ve been listening to my ipod a lot while writing and a line from a song has been playing in my head over the past two days. ‘So pack a change of clothes ‘cause it’s time to move on.’ I’m interested to see what tonight brings me. Who knows, perhaps I will be totally new when I get home, ready for whatever adventures are headed my way. Lord knows that I have been emotionally closed off over the past few years and hopefully I’m taking the right steps to help open my heart back up to new beginnings!

I went to the market today with S and A. I got two swatches of fabric to make skirts and I love them! One is orange with big purple flowers. B said that it screams my name because it is loud and commands attention! I got proposed to three times too! Haha. Apparently it is every African man’s dream to marry an American woman. At least I’m SOMEONE’S dream! I ended up pointing to my finger a few times, to my rings, and telling them I was taken. I knew I wore those rings on that finger for some reason! I was just preparing for this trip! He even uses the smallest of things to get us ready for whatever crazy situations He throws our way!

We had a pretty bad scare this evening from a fellow missionary, Alison, who is in Lagos. B and I were watching our evening show and we received a text from Alison that said she was very afraid and in danger. B wrote her back asking if she could call and she responded that she had to throw the toys and run. After a few more ambiguous messages, she said that she would contact us again when she knew she was in less danger. The group prayed for her and her partners and we each activated prayer chains via email. Nothing to do now except wait.

I got peed on!

Photos take too long to load, so just the updates for now... you'll have to wait til I hit Jo'burg to see these gorgeous kiddos!

Wednesday:
Walked through the village for the first time today to check on the status of two new houses. It is amazing to see what these men can do in mere hours. They have a brick press here and then they transport the bricks to the site and begin construction. I was given the opportunity to go into the houses and they really are incredible. Very dark, but VERY COOL!! (as in temperature.) I had assumed they would be much more cramped, but there were three bedrooms in one! The latrine is outside as is the kitchen. Both are communal between two to three families. And there are banana trees everywhere!! MMM!!

I touched my first baby today too. It’s a good thing that it’s illegal to take one home or else I’d have strapped this one to my back! She was perfect. Beautiful. Who will she become? What will she see and do? She had the softest hair and skin. Not much is soft here as the dust and dirt cake everything. But she was seemingly untouched by any filth at all. At preschool today we worked on numbers. There is a little boy that is 3 years old named Geraldo. For the past three days, I have seen all of the children laughing and playing, but he is somber. It is almost painful to observe how quiet and reserved he is. He simply stares at me. I feel like he is looking into my soul. But what is he searching for? He has days old wounds all over his arms, presumably burns. I want to kiss them better. Also, the little albino boy has sun blisters on his ears. I asked B if I could put sunscreen on them and she said ‘if you can get close to him.’ Sounds like a mission to me! I know no one will be able to continue once I leave, but perhaps the next three weeks of good care can save his little ears from cancer.

Dinner was AWESOME! Sweet African corn pancakes with honey. And banana and papaya! Spent some quality time with B. I truly feel like one of my reasons for being here is to be her friend. The Lord knows how tired she gets, but the energy we have when we are together is lovely.

Thursday:
Woke up early and did my exercises! Yay me! It felt good to be so active. It was distribution and weigh-in day in Balama. The families all gather and get their corn, salt, beans, and laundry soap for the week and the babies get weighed and receive their formula. THEY ARE AMAZING!! All of them are so different from one another!

One baby came strapped to her brother’s back. He is four years old and the main caretaker for her. Apparently, she is a twin and the mother has shunned her and cared for the other, a boy. This little girl is tiny. I have photos. She is so small compared to her brother. I’m praying that either the mother finds it in her to care for both children equally or that she can give the baby to us to be better taken care of. Precious, perfect little girl. I want to come back next year and see that she and all of the others are happy and healthy little toddlers. Seems reasonable, right?

I got some FANTASTIC photos. And... I GOT PEED ON!! Apparently this is a right of passage! More and more is happening to solidify Balama in my heart.

Friday:
Distribution to the people at Mavala went well today. I helped by passing out soap with Dominica, she is a local woman who serves as our kitchen staff. Took some photos of the process to help bring everything to life for everyone back home. B and I discussed my return next year. I feel needed here, and not just because there is so much need. I feel really needed. And that feels pretty amazing.

I got a few really nice messages from people back home. Words cannot adequately express how much joy it brings to my heart. This weekend should be pretty lax. There is lot’s to be done, but we have time to spend together. I’m looking forward to Sunday morning. Church will be that much better than last week now that the children know who I am! I even have a little favorite! (I know that is wrong, but I just cannot help it!) Her name is Aminat and she is a total camera ham! And today, for the very first time, she ran up to me on the road and hugged me. It was amazing.

Kiddos & B

I slept great last night with the help of melatonin, prayer and knowing precisely what was making the noises outside of my window! I’m telling you, this really does make all of the difference!

I woke up early and went to devotionals with the workers and B. This is where she delegates jobs for the day and gets everyone set up with what they need to accomplish. There were a BILLION problems to deal with this morning, including a conman who owed the community a ton of money, a priest who had many grievances and wanted to leave even though he couldn’t list his complaints, and Ali, my kind driver, whose niece was killed this morning in a car accident. Obviously, he was devastated, and needed to make the long drive to his family.

I’ve been working a great deal on my Portuguese and I’m doing well. When I was at the preschool with S and A, we learned colors in Portuguese, Mapua (the village language) and English! We sang and danced and did bible study. It was so wonderful! These kids are like the others I’ve worked with over the years, so eager to learn! They seem to feel pride, fear, embarrassment, excitement and aside from the SERIOUS language barriers, it’s just as easy (if not moreso) to extract a giggle fit from them as from any of my kids back home! They fall down and pick each other up, they dust off each others faces and hold hands down the road. On the other end of the spectrum, they kick and push without hesitation. They steal each other’s seats. They have no concept of ownership other than their own and if you have something and they want it, look out. Kids will be kids, I suppose, but I still find it interesting their lack of remorse in such situations.

Something that is strikingly different about these kids is the fact that they do not cry. They get fussy with one another on occasion, but they hardly make a sound other than the singing and the laughter. The sounds could heal a soul! It was a pretty uneventful afternoon, and my first of many rice and bean lunches! This meal is served everyday at 11:30am with the exception of Sundays. It was tasty today and I am praying that it will remain so for the remainder of the mission!

Watched The Closer with B, ate African Sweet Potatoes for dinner and papaya and banana for dessert! Not starving in the bush, that’s for sure! I sat with B for awhile after the meal to talk. It is so good to be with my dear friend in her home, as she has been to mine in Sitka. What a wonderful thing to be able to share with someone! Being around B is an inspiration. She truly is a pioneer and listened to her calling with little hesitation or resistance.

I don’t know what the plan is for me, but for now I am praying that my heart will be open enough to receive it.

Its going to be a long month...

Didn’t sleep last night. The wind was howling and there were strange things going bump in the night. I was frightened to my core. My body literally hurts from shivering so intensely. I listened to my ipod to drown everything out and drifted off until some other noise jolted me awake. If I weren’t so confident that this was a test from above, I’d be out of here quicker than a cricket!

B made pancakes for breakfast and we ate as a team (B, Sylvia and Alejandro, and myself) and prepared for church. I emailed my mom and I sure hope that she doesn’t worry too much. Pray for her peace of mind! B and I talked about some of my concerns and I feel much better. I took a little walk around the compound and I feel less afraid about sleeping now! Hallelujah!

Church was nothing short of PHENOMENAL! When we arrived, there were about twelve of us there. B reminded me that no one has a watch, so they sing people to church! THE VOICES! They are everything I’ve dreamed of and more! The boys drum and the girls dance and everyone sings! I don’t understand much other than Jesus and Amen, but I know that they are all shouting their praises and it fills my heart with joy!

The woman pastor is wonderful and her daughter has a voice that would give anyone chills! Beautiful! There is a girl with cerebral palsy and a little albino boy who has some sort of disability. It looks to me like FAS, but I’m not sure if the signs are the same in Africa as they are at home. I went to Sunday school with A and S and loved it! The kids are TOTAL hams for the camera and they are so excited to learn about Jesus!

B and I watched a movie together and caught up with each other and then took a tour around the town of Balama. A couple of the boys wanted to play with me so I took Bert! out and they loved him! They fed him leaves and took silly photos with him. I wrote words in the sand and they helped me with my Portuguese. We have much to learn from each other!

I took my first bath in the Moz! It was nice! Heated water on a little gas burner and used a cup to pour it over my head. Had the windows open and bathed to the sound of Balama!

There is a long week ahead of us. I am praying for sleep tonight.

Balama or Bust!

I got out of bed early this morning to make my final calls before heading into the bush. Sent out a couple of emails, hopped in the shower and finished prepping for my trip. Anxiety has completely overtaken my heart and as much as I pray for relief, I’m sure this is just part of the plan. I’m trusting that I will feel better once I have arrived in Balama tonight.

It was a long ride to the airport, but I was able to get checked in alright and then I sat with J and G until it was time to go through security. My heart hurt a little bit when saying goodbye to them.

I had to board a bus at the terminal that drove me to the plane. It was strange. I got a window seat, though I didn’t utilize it until the end of the three and a half hour flight. I tried sleeping, but was FREEZING! It was so cold! Flying over the ocean was amazing. The Indian Ocean!! WOW! It is an indiscriminate blue. And the white sands beaches of Pemba are absolutely beautiful! This is Africa?

Ali was waiting for me when I arrived. A very nice priest, funny too! We loaded up and began our four and a half hour journey into the bush. Pemba Mozambique is 3rd world. No questions asked. It is hot and broken. It smells. I used a restroom at a gas station and gagged. But the people! OH!! They are all so beautiful! They’re all quite timid of me, but when I watch or listen to them, they have fantastic personalities.

I saw a woman breastfeeding and almost cried. The baby was wrapped in a sling, suckling while the mother balanced a pot of water on her head. This is the kind of thing you see in National Geographic! I watched a little girl pick her nose and eat it. Kids! My initial thought was to say something about digging for gold (I am my mother!), but I hesitated at the thought that she probably hadn’t much to eat anyway. Strangely though, I don’t feel pity. More than anything, I feel a strange level of respect. And of course, humility. They walk barefoot along the dirt road that takes you over 60km into the heart of the African plains. They show no difficulty at balancing at least three quarters of their body weight in water and grass on their heads. Never a day off.

The final two hours of the drive were INSANE! I’ve been four wheeling before and rallied my share of trucks, but never like this! We were almost sideways! And the bridges were crazy! Ali’s wife laughed at me when I thanked the Lord for helping us cross safely! Pray that it doesn’t rain too much while I’m here or else I am stuck!

We finally arrived in Balama after the long and bumpy ride. Met up with my dear friend B and headed off to bed. It’s pitch black by seven o’clock. I do everything by headlamp. I can hear a man chanting in the distance and crickets, seemingly in harmony with his voice.

Ahh, the sounds of the bush.

Oh! What a beautiful morning..!!

Today, we awoke and had a lovely breakfast of eggs, toast, fruit and some sort of bacon thing. I ate it!! I don't think I'll ever eat it again, but I made a pact with myself to try as much as I can!

G and J took me on a short drive around the upper class part of town and the houses are AMAZING! They are like big compounds with huge brick walls and barbed wire fencing. I asked J why it is that there is wire all over the place (every other house has it atop their walls) and she said it is for protection. Break-ins are quite frequent around Jo'burg.

We went to the botanical gardens this afternoon.. Witwatersrand National Botanical Gardens to be specific. (www.sanbi.org/frames/sisulufram.htm) The garden is famous for having a pair of Verreaux Eagles nesting high on the cliffs next to a huge waterfall. It was magnificent! The flowers were absolutely amazing and the different types of birds were so fun! There is one bird, a little yellow one called a beaver, that builds the most fantastic nest. The male beaver gathers twigs and roots and weaves a basket out of them. Then, the female goes up and grabs onto the nest and shakes the heck out of it to make sure it is suitable for eggs. If it isn't, she insists that he make another one and won't lay eggs with him until it is perfect! Funny how that type of behavior is somewhat inter species! And all of the birds have the funniest voices! I had fun speaking with them as we sat for lunch. I had a lovely salad and CARROT CAKE for dessert! (That was for you, L!!) I drank the most wonderful lemonade and passion fruit fizz and had a sip of ginger beer (it's like root beer, but made with fresh ginger!!).

We headed back onto the trail and took photos of all of the different plants, trees and flowers. Just before getting to the falls, we found a local!! A big tortoise!! My first African animal!! He was so wonderful!! Just sitting in the grass, munching away. I was able to lay down right next to him and chat for a bit. He hid in his shell for about ten seconds before heading my direction and eating more grass. I was literally inches away from him! I put Bert! the Brontosaurus next to him and got a precious photo of them giving Eskimo kisses! He let me pet his shell and touch his toes! What a kind and gentle old man!

We walked up to the falls and it was so beautiful. It smelled different than the waterfalls back home, but was still fantastic. Up very high, to the left of the second falls, was the eagles nest! It was MASSIVE! Built right into the nook and cranny of the cliff side! We stayed and took some photographs and headed back to the car. (Not before saying thank you to my new tortoise friend, of course!)

This is what I imagined Africa being like. The plants, the animals and birds, the friendly people. Being in the gardens brought absolute joy to my soul. Though I've never doubted Him for a second, this beautiful place confirmed in me that the Lord is abundant in this world. The flowers, so rich in color, all shot straight up to the sky as if asking to be touched and smelled. The birds, speaking back and forth to each other, building safe homes for their young, reminded me that even things with the tiniest of brains have enough knowledge to befriend others and care for their young. And our waiter, a young man named Glory, had the most beautiful smile in the world. So kind and soft spoken, gracious with any type of compliment. With all of the scary things I've heard of and been faced with over the last two days (is that it?!), this place shook me to my core and reminded me to SEEK THE BEAUTY! It is here!! There is no need for our souls to be dampened by the sadness and ugliness that the world has. We simply must acknowledge that it exists and learn from it. We MUST seek the beauty and the good!

Now back home with G, J, and Kaska (who is the best watchdog ever!), I feel an overwhelming sense of peace. It was a lovely afternoon with two of the kindest people I will ever know. I was able to talk to my mama for a brief moment, which is always the BEST! Tomorrow I head out to the bush, where I will spend the next month surrounded by children! I am anxious and nervous, but oh so excited. Brenda has pulled a muscle in her back and will not be able to drive to get me, but she is sending to African men to get me, priests from the village!! Such an adventure is heading my way! Again, thank you to everyone who has helped get me here. I look forward to continuing to update you as often as possible!

Blessings.

Holy Riots Batman!!

It is so amazing to me how normal riots, shootings (just weeks ago there was a shooting outside of the mall we were at today!), and other violent acts are to this society. If you have something that someone else wants, they will go to extreme measures to apprehend it! Without any hesitation, people are horrible to one another! It's very intimidating and really makes me thankful to live in my little Sitka bubble!

Museum visit..

Holy moly.

Went to the Apartheid Museum today. It would take me forever to explain exactly what the Apartheid was, but I will give you the nutshell version..

Apartheid means separateness in Afrikaans and was a system of legal racial segregation enforced by the National Party government in South Africa between 1948 and early 1994. During this time, the government of SA segregated education, medical care, and other public services and provided black people with services that were inferior to those of the whites. There was serious resistance and many lives were lost. Please do yourself a favor and visit the museums website at http://www.apartheidmuseum.org/ . It was powerful. There is a room with 131 nooses hanging from the ceiling to represent the 131 government officials that were executed. Looking up and seeing all of those ropes hanging down was intense. G and I spend over four hours looking through each of the exhibits with solemn expressions. He is so full of information, as he lived through the Apartheid here in Africa. He says that many of the injustices that were faced during those years are still around today, they just aren't acknowledged. He also said that just last year, a prisoner was tortured and thrown into a lions cage for the entertainment of the government/police.

Spending the day with G, learning from both he and the exhibits in the museum, leads me to understand why Africa is commonly referred to as 'God forsaken.' While I know that He is here, it comes as no surprise why so many people reject Him and feel like He has left them all to starve, be raped, murdered, imprisoned and tortured. It is frightening. It was humbling to see the photos in the museum of starving children and beaten young men and women. And to think that these things are happening during my lifetime! People can be cruel. The heinous acts during (and after, apparently) the Apartheid, are proof of free agency and falling away from faith. I can only pray that one day, these people will ALL know love, peace and eternal life.

I am exhausted! After such minimal sleep and an intense day, it is nice to be back at the house with G, Princess, Kaska, and the FIFTY MILLION BIRDS! They have four African Grey parrots plus the many visitors. I took Bert! the Brontosaurus outside to meet them all. None of the wild birds were impressed with my visit, but the parrots were very curious. I was brave and sat with them for awhile before having a nice lunch with G. It's a wonderful life.

(I don't know that everyone knows about Bert! the Brontosaurus.. He's a four inch tall, brown and pink dinosaur that I purchased in the Las Vegas airport as a little travel companion. So far he has been in Vegas, Atlanta, Johannesburg with my new friends Andre, Sandra, Bruce, Minette, and Richard, and in the backyard with the birds.. Bert! will be photographed in as many places as possible so I can write a little travel book for the kids when I get home. Great travels are headed his way!)

Brick walls and the kindness of strangers..

So.. We are constantly tested. Our faith, our testimonies, our patience.. Constantly tested. I feel like there was always something that was trying to throw me off track in the planning and execution of this trip.

If I could go back to August 14th.. A minor issue. Not a test of faith or testimony, but definitely one of patience!! I left my important dresses on a plane. I was heading down to the states for a week of wedding chaos and during a mad dash from one plane to another, I left my dresses on board! I noticed this when they announced that the doors were closing!! AAHH!! I jumped from my seat and made the flight attendant aware of the situation. She said that there wasn't anything she could promise, but that she'd try. I made my way back to seat 17f and waited for an answer. I felt so silly praying for something so menial, but dresses are expensive and I am on a limited budget, so I figured it couldn't hurt. Minutes seemed like hours before the flight attendant announced, 'The bridal party dresses are on board!' YIPPEE!! Thank you Lord!! If that was the only thing to go wrong over the next week, I was just fine!

The week in Utah was magical. I was able to reconnect with some friends I hadn't seen in a couple of years, spend time with my 'sisters' and their kiddos, and participate in a wedding that I couldn't be more pleased about! After months and months of praying for divine intervention, my best friend and I were able to put the past behind us and move onward and upward. She is one of my biggest supports and I am so blessed to have her behind me while I am overseas.

Come the night after the wedding.. I am starving and needing to go get food. Brick wall. I cannot find my cards or identification ANYWHERE. I checked purses, suitcases, backpacks, under couches, under beds, EVERYWHERE. All I could think was 'I can't get on the plane.' I was crying and phoning everyone to help me look, but no one found anything. I just kept praying that either I would find my things or that by some miracle, I wouldn't need my credit card to board in Jo'burg. (When you book an inter-Africa flight from overseas, you need to present two forms of photo identification and the credit card you booked the ticket with.) I got no sleep that night. The following morning, I continued my search. Nothing. I was supposed to head out of Cedar City at 11am. It was pushing 3 o'clock in the afternoon. Nothing. I finally just laid in the middle of the floor and asked for guidance. I was prompted to get an address in Jo'burg and have a card expedited there. When I got to the drawer to get a pen and paper, I lifted my friend's wallet and.. drum roll please... FOUND MY STUFF!! Someone had cleaned my friend's house and had assumed that it was hers!! There it all was!! Hallelujah! We quickly got into the car and headed off to Las Vegas!

I met up with one of my dear friends during my final two days in the states. We ate good American food (sushi) and had some good American entertainment (rides on the Stratosphere). I can't think of anyone I'd rather have sending me off on my big adventure. I love you, friend.

The airport.. I arrive super early and took care of some computer work. I ate a cinnamon roll from Ciannabon, c'mon now.. I wasn't sure what I'd be eating in twenty-four hours! I found my gate and laid down for a nap. And then I heard it.. Final boarding call to Atlanta!! What?! I had been at the wrong gate! I picked up my backpack and bag and RAN full speed to the gate, praying out loud that the Lord should help me get to my gate in time, and met the brick wall.. The gate agent was not very nice. She scolded me for being late and handed someone else my seat, right in front of me! I just started to cry. There was nothing else I could do at that moment. I stood in the empty boarding line and cried.

And then my first encounter with the kindness of strangers.. A couple from Atlanta was supposed to be on the plane with me and was equally confused at the gate change. They took me under their wing, got me a bottle of water, and found me a seat on the next flight out. They sat with me until I calmed down and asked me numerous questions about the mission and OU and what I thought I might be doing. It was so refreshing to sit with eager people and talk to them about what the Lord has done in my life and the calling He gave to me to go teach in the Moz!! My heart was instantly uplifted and I knew that the reason for me not getting on the first flight was so I could give my testimony to these kind people!

The plane was incredible!! Absolutely amazing! HUGE! And what's better, I sat in front of SEVEN LDS missionaries! I love missionaries! We had nice long chats before watching movies and falling asleep. I also had the pleasure of meeting Andre, an older gentleman on his way to Jo'burg for his mothers' funeral. He comes into play in about thirteen hours. The long flight, almost sixteen hours, was much easier than I thought it would be. The food was tasty and the entertainment was wonderful! There was a moving map application that enabled you to see what you were flying over.. I looked at it many times to see that we were over the heart of the Atlantic ocean, flying between Brazil and Africa!! WOW!! The chairs reclined much more than normal seats and with the help of some melatonin, I spent a good portion of the trip in dream land!

We arrived in Jo'burg safely and everyone clapped! My new friend Andre offered to walk with me through the airport to help me find the DeKlerks. I was warned many times not to talk to strangers in this foreign land, but I knew in my heart he was a decent man and I trusted him. I was right! We made it through the baggage claim and customs to find that the DeKlerks were nowhere to be found! I have never been so frightened in my life. I sat down and prayed that there was some sort of mix up and that they were on their way. Andre was greeted at the airport by his sister Sandra and her husband Bruce and they waited with me for over an hour. I was able to get online and send an email to my missing hosts, but without my phone (it was stolen.. Sorry I missed that detail.) I was unable to get all of the necessary contact information. Andre insisted that I join he and his family at their friend's house for the evening and we could contact the DeKlerks in the morning. At that point, I was exhausted and scared, but confident that the Lord would look after me and that I was with good people. Good is an understatement.. Great people. The BEST people. We headed over to Minette and Richard's house and had a wonderful meal and even better conversation! Bruce is HILARIOUS! We finally got in contact with Graham and Jeannine and they came to scoop me up. There was a little misunderstanding about times and dates, but they arrived and hugs were given all around! Contact information was exchanged between me and my new friends and I headed home.

This house is so fantastic. It is old, the doors have super old locks and keys and they creak when you open them! The outlets are different, the water knobs are different, the light switches are in funny places! It's so lovely! I was on the computer emailing itineraries to people and transferring money until one thirty in the morning.. And couldn't fall asleep until nearly three! I slept soundly and dreamed of lions and elephants! Until nine this morning!! I was awoken by Kaska, the German Shepard, and a very eager Graham. We must not miss one moment of this adventure!! We are off to the Apartheid Museum and to see some of the monuments around town. I'm looking forward to my first day!

We are CONSTANTLY tested.. But I am so happy to have run into brick walls.. Or else I would have never experienced the kindness of such wonderful strangers. Thank the Lord for blessing me with fantastic people. He is good. And He is always watching over us.