Baby Day!

If Wednesday is Carrot Cake Day, then Thursday is officially BABY DAY! I LOVE BABY DAY! It’s only the best day of the week. All of the babies from the village are brought in to be weighed and loved on by ME! Yippee!

It turns out my baby mama (mother of the twins and the little boy) has been living in a dilapidated house. We went to see it, decided that it was unlivable, and brought her and all of her things to a new home. Just so happens that this new home is right outside of our gate! I guess it was our way of compromising with her. We will be able to check on them daily and personally see to it that her baby girl is getting all of the love and nutrients that she needs. I got to hold the little love muffin for the entire move! She just coo’ed and played with my keys and my hair. I love her. You all knew that helping me get down here to a bunch of babies was a potentially disastrous idea! Don’t worry though, I looked into it and it’s illegal for me to bring one back as a carry on. :)

Weigh ins were an absolute success. Everyone looked happy and healthy. I got to play with and take photos of everything going on, from the babies to the food distribution. I took about seven photos that I know are keepers. I ABSOLUTELY love one of them. We have one widow that is just hilarious. She is always playing practical jokes and poking fun at her friends. I took a close up shot of her making this great face. I could just hear my mom’s voice in the background as I took it.

I gave out lots of kisses and hugs today. I love that the kids all know me now and that they are so excited every time they see me! I can’t wait to return next year and see how much they have grown and learned.

Happy Birthday to my Trinity Anastasia!! My ‘sister’ Camille’s daughter is four years old today! Wow. I got an email from Michella, my best friend back home, and it made my whole day! I am so lucky to have such amazing women in my life.

I am starting to contemplate what is going to happen when I get back to Sitka. I need a job. I am praying for a job that pays at least $800 every check after taxes. I can’t work six days a week while I’m going through school, so a M-F schedule would be wonderful. Ask and you shall receive, right? I figured I might as well ask, very specifically, and hope for the best!

I’m also looking into what fundraising options I have. I have taken some fantastic photos and I think that I could sell them. Perhaps an auction or at a bazaar or something. I need to research tickets for my trip next fall and book them before they cost me another arm and a leg! The tickets this year were crazy and maybe if I can earn enough before JUNE (when I got the tickets this time) I will be able to get a better deal. Goodness, so much is happening in my brain! Things will be busy for the next few years, but I am officially dedicated to helping keep Orphans Unlimited the best program that it can be! I made a promise to Brenda and everyone else out here that I will do whatever I can to raise awareness and be of as much of assistance as possible.

This was put in my heart for a reason and I am not about to turn and walk away.

Portuguese?

I wrote letters to six people last night, yet another attempt at making things right with everyone and letting go of the past. I’m feeling pretty good about it. B and I had a long talk about the importance of forgiveness, both offering it and receiving it. I needed to get a bunch of hurt out of my system so that I can open up more in my relationships with God, my friends and my family. I’m praying that this is precisely what I needed to jumpstart the healing process! I got a couple of nice emails from home. I love hearing from everyone. The hardest part of this trip has definitely been not being able to talk to my family and friends. Other than that, I have so genuinely enjoyed my time here! I’m excited about next year! This trip has been excellent preparation for a longer one next fall. Now I know exactly what to bring and how much. I also know that I need to get myself a Portuguese tutor! If anyone knows of someone in Sitka, help a girl out! It is extremely difficult to give medical attention to a seven year old that doesn’t speak English. It’s harder when her two care takers don’t either!

Fatima ripped a toenail off today and was bleeding everywhere. Trying to help her was close to impossible. I just said a quick prayer that she could understand that I was there to help and went to work! She had to be restrained while we got her cleaned off and taped up. Poor girl. She was so afraid! Thankfully, we were able to take care of things swiftly and she spent the rest of school glued to my side. Thank you, Lord!

I found out today that one of our young widows killed her newborn baby. She has been removed from our program. A brand new person was killed because this woman didn’t have the guts to admit that she had had sex out of wedlock. I understand a person’s nervousness at admitting wrongdoings, I struggle with it all of the time, but there is NEVER an excuse to do what she did. My whole heart hurts. Things like this make me want my mom.

I slept great last night with the help of a good book and some melatonin! I know a certain someone with sleeping problems that will be getting a bottle of it as a gift when I get home! I have been thinking a lot about my dad lately. I obviously miss all of my family more than words could ever convey, but my dad and I have always had a very ‘special’ relationship and it’s been on my mind. I think I’m going to take some time to write him a letter. I’d love for him and Sister to come visit this fall, once I get into my new home. I would love for mom to come too, but since she’s visited twice already, I think that the two of them should come on their own and leave the ‘kids’ with her. The dogs need someone at home to love on them and take them on walks and feed them and pick up… Love you mom!

I’m covered in bug bites! I put on my bug dope everyday, but they still seem to get me. They aren’t mosquito bites and I’m still up and moving around, so I suppose I’m fine! Thank God! I can’t imagine what my mom would do if I got malaria while I was here! She’d definitely not be happy about my return next year! B actually started the treatment for malaria today. She doesn’t have a horrible case of it this time, she is still able to walk and oversee the workers, but she is definitely sick. I’m praying that the treatment works swiftly and that she is back to good health soon!

I’m officially homesick today. Maybe not homesick as much as I want to talk to everyone! I miss voices! I am lucky to have a couple of funny videos on my laptop of Marjorie and I doing hulahoop on the Wii. They keep me from missing everyone too much! Thanks Majie!

Summer Skin

A friend from years past consumed my dreams last night. Apparently the next chapter in my emotional baggage purge. I’ve been listening to a lot of music lately and one of the best groups ever, Death Cab for Cutie, has been consistently playing as I fall asleep at night. One of my favorite songs is Summer Skin. It brings to mind all of the loves of my life and how so many of them were fleeting. Not just boys that I’ve had feelings for, but also my friends and interests. As I reflect on everything and everyone, I’m realizing that I want stability and longevity. The few friends that I have had since I was little and the ones that I’ve met more recently are wonderful. I don’t want to imagine my life without any of them and, as of my recent trip to Utah, I no longer have to! Yay for second chances! I’ve been blessed with amazing people and adventures, but only a few of them have really proven to withstand the tests of time. This has made it increasingly difficult for me to really try with anyone or anything. I’ve put a lot of effort into things and watched people and opportunities simply pick up and leave. I’m taking the time to realize that these things happened for some reason far greater than I will probably ever know and that throughout all of the come-aparts, something great always remained. This summer has been a great indication example of this. I’ve met so many new people over the past four months and made some of the biggest decisions of my life, my baptism being the biggest! And I don’t know if I would have felt so strongly about making that decision if I hadn’t had the group of people around me that I did. I don’t know where time will take me and the relationships that I have made as of late, but I do know that I am thankful for them and I am ready to take steps in my life to make things more permanent; a stable home, college, and church. I’m excited.

Phew! That was quite the purge of emotion. I’m good now. OH! I saw the Milky Way tonight for the first time in my life! It lit up the entire sky! We are so blessed. I simply walked outside at six o’clock at night to a moonless sky and saw one of the most phenomenal sights ever. How could anyone not believe that there is something more for us? With all of this beauty for us to appreciate, why not give Him credit?

Throw the toys & run

I didn’t sleep well last night. I keep playing the past four and a half years of my life over and over in my head. Things that I could have done differently to avoid getting hurt or hurting others, where I would be now if I hadn’t done this or that, and all of the people that I have loved and lost. I think it is just God’s way of getting me to think things through to the point of letting it all go. I’ve been listening to my ipod a lot while writing and a line from a song has been playing in my head over the past two days. ‘So pack a change of clothes ‘cause it’s time to move on.’ I’m interested to see what tonight brings me. Who knows, perhaps I will be totally new when I get home, ready for whatever adventures are headed my way. Lord knows that I have been emotionally closed off over the past few years and hopefully I’m taking the right steps to help open my heart back up to new beginnings!

I went to the market today with S and A. I got two swatches of fabric to make skirts and I love them! One is orange with big purple flowers. B said that it screams my name because it is loud and commands attention! I got proposed to three times too! Haha. Apparently it is every African man’s dream to marry an American woman. At least I’m SOMEONE’S dream! I ended up pointing to my finger a few times, to my rings, and telling them I was taken. I knew I wore those rings on that finger for some reason! I was just preparing for this trip! He even uses the smallest of things to get us ready for whatever crazy situations He throws our way!

We had a pretty bad scare this evening from a fellow missionary, Alison, who is in Lagos. B and I were watching our evening show and we received a text from Alison that said she was very afraid and in danger. B wrote her back asking if she could call and she responded that she had to throw the toys and run. After a few more ambiguous messages, she said that she would contact us again when she knew she was in less danger. The group prayed for her and her partners and we each activated prayer chains via email. Nothing to do now except wait.

I got peed on!

Photos take too long to load, so just the updates for now... you'll have to wait til I hit Jo'burg to see these gorgeous kiddos!

Wednesday:
Walked through the village for the first time today to check on the status of two new houses. It is amazing to see what these men can do in mere hours. They have a brick press here and then they transport the bricks to the site and begin construction. I was given the opportunity to go into the houses and they really are incredible. Very dark, but VERY COOL!! (as in temperature.) I had assumed they would be much more cramped, but there were three bedrooms in one! The latrine is outside as is the kitchen. Both are communal between two to three families. And there are banana trees everywhere!! MMM!!

I touched my first baby today too. It’s a good thing that it’s illegal to take one home or else I’d have strapped this one to my back! She was perfect. Beautiful. Who will she become? What will she see and do? She had the softest hair and skin. Not much is soft here as the dust and dirt cake everything. But she was seemingly untouched by any filth at all. At preschool today we worked on numbers. There is a little boy that is 3 years old named Geraldo. For the past three days, I have seen all of the children laughing and playing, but he is somber. It is almost painful to observe how quiet and reserved he is. He simply stares at me. I feel like he is looking into my soul. But what is he searching for? He has days old wounds all over his arms, presumably burns. I want to kiss them better. Also, the little albino boy has sun blisters on his ears. I asked B if I could put sunscreen on them and she said ‘if you can get close to him.’ Sounds like a mission to me! I know no one will be able to continue once I leave, but perhaps the next three weeks of good care can save his little ears from cancer.

Dinner was AWESOME! Sweet African corn pancakes with honey. And banana and papaya! Spent some quality time with B. I truly feel like one of my reasons for being here is to be her friend. The Lord knows how tired she gets, but the energy we have when we are together is lovely.

Thursday:
Woke up early and did my exercises! Yay me! It felt good to be so active. It was distribution and weigh-in day in Balama. The families all gather and get their corn, salt, beans, and laundry soap for the week and the babies get weighed and receive their formula. THEY ARE AMAZING!! All of them are so different from one another!

One baby came strapped to her brother’s back. He is four years old and the main caretaker for her. Apparently, she is a twin and the mother has shunned her and cared for the other, a boy. This little girl is tiny. I have photos. She is so small compared to her brother. I’m praying that either the mother finds it in her to care for both children equally or that she can give the baby to us to be better taken care of. Precious, perfect little girl. I want to come back next year and see that she and all of the others are happy and healthy little toddlers. Seems reasonable, right?

I got some FANTASTIC photos. And... I GOT PEED ON!! Apparently this is a right of passage! More and more is happening to solidify Balama in my heart.

Friday:
Distribution to the people at Mavala went well today. I helped by passing out soap with Dominica, she is a local woman who serves as our kitchen staff. Took some photos of the process to help bring everything to life for everyone back home. B and I discussed my return next year. I feel needed here, and not just because there is so much need. I feel really needed. And that feels pretty amazing.

I got a few really nice messages from people back home. Words cannot adequately express how much joy it brings to my heart. This weekend should be pretty lax. There is lot’s to be done, but we have time to spend together. I’m looking forward to Sunday morning. Church will be that much better than last week now that the children know who I am! I even have a little favorite! (I know that is wrong, but I just cannot help it!) Her name is Aminat and she is a total camera ham! And today, for the very first time, she ran up to me on the road and hugged me. It was amazing.